03 January 2007

College Paper

Students in a college English class were assigned to read 2 books, one BOTH based on historical incidents, and the assignment was to write a paper comparing and contrasting fact and fiction. the books assigned were Titanic by Thomas Bosell, & My Life by Bill Clinton.


One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.


Titanic:..... $29.99

Clinton:..... $29.99


Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read

Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read


Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and ensuing catastrophe.

Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and ensuing catastrophe.


Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.


Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.


Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.


Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton:..... Let's not go there.


Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton:..... Monica is forced to return her gifts.


Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.


Titanic:...... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.


Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hillary which is basically the same thing.

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